Absent from My Stuff

Around here, if somebody well known in the neighborhood dies, especially if the person was young, they'll write R.I.P. stuff their car windows. If I died, nobody here would care. Nobody knows me, anyway. Jeff I wish I could have seen you as a little baby when you yawned. Aw, so cute! Why couldn't you still be alive? I miss YOU! God, he's mine. He's a part of me. I can't quit him. I won't be a happy camper in heaven. After all the stuff God's putting me through? I'll never forget the breakfast my grandpa made one morning while I was down in Carriacou(an island within Grenada). I had saltfish with freshly baked rolls. The saltfish had slices of pepper in it. It was so delicious, especially the rolls. I had a dream I was in school but I was taking more than one class a semester. Sometimes I have these thoughts like when I go to bed, in the morning things would be okay between me and God; he'd talk to me again. God, why are you treating me this way? Why can't I loose weight? God, I wish you would here me out! I'm so sick of being lonely! God, I'm hurting!