God, please, can you do something? I love him! God, this is really serious. God, I really love him. Please, can you please send me someone who can understand me please? God, I need some understanding. I'm sick of this. I'm sick of the way my life is going. God, it really hurts. God, you won't give me understanding, I need it from somebody else. God, I love him, but two days ago was yet another hard day for me. God, I haven't thought about taking my life in a while, please don't make me go back to that point. If I can't have my baby then give me someone who understands! God, I want to die! I want cancer, leukemia, something! Why am I not dead yet? Why haven't I given myself an inoperable tumor? That's what Johnnie Cochran had and he died from it. I want to die. It's about time. God, I have nobody to turn to that I would love to talk to. If I found out I was sick I'd let it fester and grow inside of me until it was too late for the doctors to help me. God, you have made things so bad for me. Look, I don't have a soul to talk to. I don't have hope. I don't have Jeff. Just thank you, okay? For everything.
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