can't crack it, I need you

I need him. I love him. I ADORE him. I wish JEFF was inching ever so closely to my grasp. I wish all I had to do was reach out and could feel that I'd be close to getting him soon. He is just so angelic, the priciest white chocolate I could find in all of Europe. I just need him. My liquid love I have for him has been overflowing for years. I can't take my mind off this amazing guy for more than a minute before I'm thinking about him again. God, I wish you would hear me out. Yesterday I was thinking, I wish you had just told him casually that I was in love with him but he was the guy that observed me and took all the love I had for him-my past actions, my words, everything concerning him that I've done-to heart and nearly came short of worshipping me. I wish all Jeff did was observe me and whisper my name, just trying to hold all his emotions together before I came up and he spilled it all on me. Oh Jeff, make me marvelous. Make me yours. I want whatever I have up there to be yours, too. Wait-on second thought, I am really enduring and struggling down here, when I go, I want to see what's rightfully mine, by faith. I want to see what God has given me because of my faith that's mine and not to be shared, just to be admired by others. But I think everyone shares in heaven, so anyway, whatever. Jeff, I really love you. I don't know, I just think you're awesome. Baby, I really can't wait until I'm with you. I'm crying out for an agreement where you and God can take me home early. Tomorrow at 9:30 in the morning I'm going to be in Manhattan at a temp agency applying for work. The lady called me twice. Since it's part time, I'll give it a go and see if I can crack the eight year curse. If not, I guess I'll just stick to day dreaming about my honey and writing stuff nobody else will read...