depressed mood topper 3,000,000,000,000

Ooh, why do I feel this way? I'm sick of feeling depressed! I take my meds every day but the craps don't work! I'm tired of these moods I go through! If I cry out to God he does nothing! I'm so sick and tired of this! I don't know what to do. Where can I go to escape the way I feel? Success won't change me, maybe a little, but I'd still have my days. Moving to the Caribbean won't. I'd love the enviornment but I'd still be subject to my periods of downfall. Even though I need someone like, so bad, it won't help either. I'd still have times when I'd retreat into my own skin and shred myself up mentally and maybe physically. I mean, I'd talk to my guy, but what would he suggest? I need heavenly suggestions, not earthly suggestions. I'm so tired of living it day after day, living through storm cloud after storm cloud. I DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT! I just want out. Please, could the gods make my pain end? Do I have to switch to another faith? I was staring at two muslim girls that worked at the pharmacy at Walgreens. I hate them! Why do they choose to be that faith? Some rediculous promise about the afterlife? I could never see myself becoming a muslim. The Koran is garbage. I wish everybody walking down the street was born again and cared so much about me, wanted to be my friend dearly. In J.C., I've got to deal with a multitude of religions and I hate it. I'm not the perfect Christian, but I guess I just need to be deeply loved by someone who is...and could rescue me from my damn decrepidness! Will that ever happen? I think I'll die wallowing in my misery like some poor people die in the hospital wallowing in bed sores and their own waste. I'll die in my poverty. I DON'T CARE. Just make it quick already. I've been screaming in my soul since 2002, unhappy since childhood. I don't think anything will ever change for me. socio-economic misfit!