Jeff,I hate what happened to you after you died. God, I'm in love with him! Fuck man, you're not good for anything! I know if I were prettier I'd have lots of friends. I deserve death. My whole life has been negative. There are people that have died that had their whole lives ahead of them. I have nothing. I'm dead poor. I have nobody for me. Yet I'm still alive. From a young age I wanted love. I looked at what my parents had and wanted it, too. I hated them 'cause they were together and I was without any friends whatsoever, without somebody for me. Look, I'm still alone. I just want to die. There's nobody for me. Sometimes it's not even about Jeff. I just want out. I don't care. I don't care what God has for me in the future, I don't care how good it's going to get, I don't want it. I don't care if it's a man. Too late, it's just too late. I don't care, I don't give a fuck. I'm hurt. I'm beyond repair. God, I'm sick of waking up. Don't you understand? Fuck it, I hate you! If I killed myself I'd say to God, "Don't tell me what was going to become of my life, I know I did the right thing." I told God I don't give a fuck what reason he has me here for and I'm still alive? I hate him! I just don't want to live anymore!
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Think about it, And take care[HEART]