God, I don't understand you. What do you see when you look at all the pain I exhibit in my writing? Are you like, "oh, there she goes again. Fuck her." You're like that, aren't you? I just wish you understood me. Damn it, I just need somebody. I need somebody in my life. I NEED a relationship. I have so many strikes against me. I have so many reasons why I could've killed myself on Sunday. No best friends, no husband. I can't just shrug off how I feel and move on! There can't possibly be a God. Why is he doing all this unfortunateness to me? There is nothing he is possibly teaching me. Oh man, there will be a day, I swear to God, when I'm going to totally give up. God is really stretching my patience and giving me no daily reward for surviving each soul wrenching day he gives to me. Fucking ouch.
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