Grand Old Diaper, What Next?

God, if I went back to school it would take about ten years to complete my studies. Please say I don’t have that kind of time, that you want me home by then. Oh God, I just saw this bed in New York mag and it was like I had to jump in there with somebody. It’s a big bed with white sheets, which reminds me, I have to wash my bedding when I get back. The last time my mom was over she said my sheets and the comforter looked dirty. Yeah, I’ve got a whole bunch of clothes lying around, so I’d better take them to the Laundromat. There’s probably roaches hiding in my clothes. The last time I took my clothes to the Laundromat there was a roach in my clothes. I just put everything into the washing machine and the roach drowned. I’ve got a new sheet set my dad brought me over the summer, and I’m starting to look at it like I don’t like it. I haven’t tried it on my bed yet so I don’t know if the sheets will fit, but the colors make me want to return the bed in a bag plus and get another set. The set my dad bought me has a comforter, eight sheets and two decorative pillows. That’s why I call it a bed in a bag plus. I just wish the colors were more festive. Mine looks like grand estate mansion material. God, I really want to get out of Jersey City. I hate it! What do you want me to do? School takes too long. I mean, I know I’d be working on my future and getting out of J.C., but I want out in the next year or two, not ten. An associate’s degree will take me over two years to complete. God, please, just listen to what’s in my soul. Every time I return up there from here, I just feel lousy. That girl should’ve gotten in contact with me. Do you want me to call her when I get back? God, do you want me to work, or just work out? Man I wish I could hear you talk to me! God, this is my future! I mean, I don’t want a future, I want to die, but since you have me here what are we doing for me? Okay, what are we doing to advance your purpose. God, all I wanted was to die. God, could you just please tell me if you want me to write and work out or get a job?