God, what is the motherfucking deal? I love this guy! It hurts! I absolutely need him! I'm never watching a Freddy movie again. God, I just love him. God, it's just love! Intense, feverish love! God, I can't help it. This is how I feel. This is the way my soul is. My core cries out for him. My inner self gets upset 'cause I can't get my way, which is being with Jeff and loving him 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. There are times when I want to be alone, like this morning, but after I took my shower and ate breakfast, I came back into the room cooing and caaing, just needing him so much. God, my love for him is real. There are times when I want to be alone and don't want to be around him, but I quickly shed that part of me and warm up to him once again. It's not always perfect, but it gets downright distressing, somewhat skating on loveful insanity when I'm filled with complete adulation for him and find I cannot translate that love to him in the way I need to, in the way that is best. God, you just need to know. The love I have for Jeff is, is, God I can't, I can't express myself right now because I'm blinded by such unhappiness this love is causing me to feel. God, I want to end it. This is how love shouldn't be, not me teetering on the thought that suicide would be best to end this tumultuous love affair. God, why do I feel this way? Why, God? WHY. HELP ME YOU LOSER. God, please. I'm so sorry. I need someone who understands the dire needs of me, who understands where I'm coming from. God, I can't take this. I want OUT. GOD. I WANT AWAY FROM ALL OF THIS. I WANT TO BE GONE, PEACEFUL, BY MYSELF. Maybe with Jeff, but he's the cause of how I'm feeling right now. God, caustic. In hell. That's how I feel sometimes being in love with Jeff. IT IS DOWNRIGHT CAUSTIC. I FEEL ON FIRE. GOD HELP THIS LITTLE GIRL. SHE HAS NOTHING TO LIVE FOR. THE WORLD IS MY ENEMY, FOR IF SOMEONE SUCH AS MYSELF WERE FOUND, I WOULD BE DRAGGED OUT NAKED AND SHOT DEAD.
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