in memorium: we'll never be together

I wish Jeff and I got married and on our first night together were so excited and unable to go to bed because we had spent our previous single lives living by ourselves, sleeping by ourselves, eating by ourselves. Now we were in each other's company for the rest of our lives and we were so ecstatic we could hardly sleep. Jeff, you were supposed to be mine, the guy I was to spend forever with. Now look, I don't know if we're going to spend our eternal lives together. Jeff, my life is going on and on and I see no end to it. All I wanted was you, but the state that I'm in now says we will spend our eternal lives seperated from one another. I just wish I got it as easy as you did, alive one moment, dead the next. I was living just to be with you in the end. Now with my faith shattered, you and me will probably never be. I just wish we could've gotten married, your age 48 and me a spring chicken at 32; I mean, you liked younger. Hey Jeff, here's a young girl with you! Jeff, I wish my life were so easy and I was going to be with you soon. I wish I was back in Trinidad. As I was napping on the couch this afternoon I had a dream I was. I hate the U.S. I'm a Caribbean girl. I want to go back to my roots. I wish someone would give me a one way ticket. I'd make arrangements with social security, find out where I was going to live, sell some of my things, put the rest in storage, and scadoodle. Before I'd leave I'd have to pay off all my debt first, Macy*s, VS, others. I'm having a hard time parting ways with my Macy*s charge, and even now with greater reason, they updated me to gold status and I got a shiny new card in the mail. Plus, I always get the circulars in the mail and flip through them saying, "Ooh, I want that! I've just got to have it." Okay, before I throw the card away I have to buy those boots I made the unfortunate decision of not buying. They were on sale for cheap too. Leather. I just checked, I have $32 remaining in my account. Ooh, can I buy those boots with those cupons? I wish Amy Winehouse could come to New York and perform in Washington Square Park. No, Tompkins Square Park! Too small? I used to cut through Tompkins on my way to get my weekly allowance. New York was so expensive, but living in supported housing, I could've made it work. Now look at me, just barely scraping by. Asked my mum for some more money.