Matchmaker Gone Hellfire

Jesus loves me to death? It's hard to believe. God, I'm trying to live for you, but you're making things too hard for me! God, I'm talking, talking to you but you're not responsive! You're like my internet service when it says 'not responding'. God, if you want to be in my life again, why don't you provide a way for me to get my tattoos removed so you can talk to me again! I come to you so many times. I pray to you so many times, but you just reject me! I use Dove. I use Vitamin E. My skin still looks like crap. I wish I had clear, perfect skin like Jeff did. Oh Jeff, your skin was like marshmellows. Jeff, your skin was pure white, like a dove. A milky dove. Jeff, my love for you is forever. God is bigger than life? How come he doesn't improve mine? God, you don't give me the strength to do anything. God, both my parents are getting on me about my weight! Oh my God, you're not there. You're not there for me! I want to loose weight! Help me! I want Jeff so much! Oh my God I need him so, so much! God, I don't want to hate you! I'm supposed to love you! But you get me so very angry sometimes! When I finally get Jeff, my eyes will light up like the sunrise. Until then, forget about my mood. Just sullen. God, you're like the devil. You're trying to destroy me. God, I don't want to be alive anymore. God, I love him! I love Jeff more than I love myself. In fact, I hate myself, so there. God, I'm mentally ill. I can only take but so much. You don't know that. You don't care. God, I feel upset, very upset! Can you please help me?