God, did you hear me this morning? I wanted you to listen. I hope you heard me damn good, or did you just ignore me like you always do? God, I really love him. This morning it was so upsetting 'cause I couldn't sleep and I wanted Jeff so much. God, I couldn't take the way I was feeling about him anymore. Everytime I looked at him I just got feelings of painful love for him, painful 'cause I couldn't be with him, or he couldn't be with me. It was also painful because I love him so much and there's no outlet I can go to release how I'm feeling inside about him. God, please say you understood me this morning. Say you'll do something. Remember, I never wanted to be on this earth. Why can't you see that? Why did Jeff get it so easy and I'm getting it so hard? God, I just need to be with my baby! That's what I was telling you this morning! God, I wish I could pound what I was saying to you into your head for good measure 'cause I don't think you're going to take, understand, do. Take what I've said to you, understand it all, and DO something about it. That's all I ask. Have you ever done that for me? God, I'm really struggling here. I just need to be at peace with my baby by my side and holding me. I wish we were married. I wish we were one. God, I need him. He is my angel. He is my eternity. I'm after him feverishly. Stop keeping me from him.
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