I'm pretty sure I want to be a writer, but I don't feel like going back to school. I know it's the only way I'm going to get ahead and learn new things about the craft, but it's just all the work that's involved. When I was in school, every time I found out a paper was due due or the professor told us what he expected from us in his class, it's as if my world had crumbled down to hell and loneliness. Loneliness? Well, I alone had to sit coming up with ideas for a paper. Yeah, I could've received help, but it's my brain that had to think hard enough to put it all together. I don't like thinking! I'd rather not. I mean, the last time I was in school and shit got hard, I said "I'm outta here!" I really don't know what to do. I feel that at my age with my spotty duration I spent at jobs, nobody is going to want to hire me. And if I do get hired, it's going to be for menial pay. I can't imagine getting paid $20/hr. I should, at my age be getting that much, but I will never without a college diploma. The college I went to had everything for kids to succeed; writing classes(which perked my interest), tutors, and counselors. So someone in their right mind would tell me to go back. It's just the stress of it all-oh, I don't know! I don't know! I don't know what I should do. I don't know if God wants me to go back to school. Wasn't I in this same situation a year ago? But I didn't wait on God, I just went back. Now I need to know from God if he wants me to go back. I have three months to decide. He can't wait until November to tell me; he has to tell me now. Not so I could run go register, but so my mind could be put at ease and I can stop obsessing. God, I feel you were telling me to read your Word, and I did. God, you don't want me dead. I hate to say it but I disagree with you but, but, please tell me if you want me to go back to school? I need to know, I need to know! I don't want to make another mistake by registering. Can you please tell me?
2 comments on Nothing to Save Me Part II
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cloacinalegacy
said 11 months ago
I relate to this quite a bit. I also want to be a writer, I drop in and out of college, always wonder if I’m making a mistake when I go back (and hoping I didn’t make one by going back this semester), don’t know who would want to hire me (almost 25 and never had a real job), sometimes ask God for advice, and can understand how it is stressful to not have an answer to something- having to obsess over it, wondering what to do and if you’ll have the answer when the time comes. I can’t tell you what to do, but I hope you make the right decision. Remember, though, even if you don’t go back to school, you don’t have to give up on writing. Are there any writing workshops near you?
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lilscrappy
said 11 months ago
I did a google search but came up with nothing in my area. Just school. There's a place in New York though, that offers classes, and they're very popular. But their classes are for like, publishing books and stuff. I need someone to teach me about punctuation because sometimes when I write I mess up. I really have to go back to the workshop's web address to see if they offer basic writing classes. That's what I need. I do though, get really defensive of my work if someone is trying to critique it. I can't stand to have some one go over my work and tell me what I need to correct or what's wrong with it. I wish that wasn't me, I wish I could be open to suggestions. If I'm closed up I'll never learn. Oh well, I've been this way since I was a kid. What can I do?
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