A Struggle Indeed

I’m very impatient today. I want to go to the gym, but I don’t know whether to leave at 11 or earlier. It’s 8:13. The school kids are still on their way to school, and the adults are on their way to work. If I get dressed and leave around 8:45, that will be a very crowded bus. There are people that have to make it for work after 9, but the majority of everybody has to make it to work for 9. This whole week has gone by and I haven’t managed to lose any weight. I don’t know, the last number on the scale keeps fluctuating, like from 194.3 to 195.4, so if that keeps on changing I should be able to lose weight. It was that Chinese food I ate last night. See? I knew that was going to do me in. Okay, like I said, no more. I was well on my way to 193 when I ate that food. It’s such a struggle for me to get below 193. If this whole month goes by and I haven’t lost anything, should I continue to work out? I don’t know. I was hoping to get down to 180 by mid October, now I’m going to have to go back on that date. A week has gone by and I haven’t lost at least 1 lb? There’s something wrong with me. Was it the Chinese food that did it for me? I did have a large serving. And I had Chinese food before my workout, too. Okay, I won’t have any more fast food unless I’m headed to the gym afterwards to work it off. No, no more period. The only fast food I’ll eat is Boston Market, Subway, Quiznos or Blimpie. I like my tuna fish sandwiches. Then I can work it off in the gym. There’s something wrong with my body. I’m working out but I can’t lose weight? I’m only 31! It shouldn’t be that hard. I really can’t wait ‘till 11 to go; I can’t even wait ‘till 9 to go. I really don’t want to get on the bus with all those people, but it’s like, I’m such in a hurry. I want to get down to 193 by Sunday. This just has to work for me. I’m praying and crossing my fingers. Losing weight just has to work for me.