God, Stop Treating Me like an Abused Pit Bull!

When I go into Barnes & Noble, I see the big array of new books on tables and on shelves against the wall. I wish my book was capable of making it to book stores and libraries, but I’m afraid it’s just too ugly for any publisher to look at. How could I improve that? I looked it over with that girl from craigslist but I’m thinking she really didn’t know what to do or say. Wait, she was open about my writing, and she shared that she had written a book too. I was trying to get back in contact with her on craigslist, but I haven’t been good at finding her so far. I have a Barnes & Noble gift card; maybe I’ll go back to the store to see what I can find. Or maybe I should go back and see if they have the Rabbits for Dummies book. I need to read it again to see what I should do with my princess when the cold weather comes. She’s not a snow bunny; I’ve really got to see. I read the first chapter then I returned it because I thought I wasn’t going to keep her. Now since she’s at the house for good, I can read up on how to care for her. She doesn’t like baths. My mom tried to wipe her down and she didn’t like it very much. I smile because at eight months, she already has a strong personality. We give her treats at night like dried peas, lettuce and bunny snacks from Petco. She enjoys it all. I guess we spoil her too much, my mom especially. But she’s a girl, she’s still a baby, she’s a little princess. We can spoil her to hearts content. I was going to put a new add on craigslist to see if I can reach that girl. Well, I have to see in what area I’m going to put it in. My food stamps are gone. I only have five dollars in my wallet, and that’s to go to church on Sunday to hear the continuation of Pastor Dave’s sermon on death. I wonder what he’s going to talk about now. How come it’s a continuation? I thought I got the meat of it on Sunday. I only get $10.00 in food stamps. That’s a sorry case. But because I get over $600 a month in SSI and SSD, they think I’m rich. But after I pay my bills, I’m only left with over $200, and I like to buy stuff with it. Both Section 8 and welfare should take into consideration ALL the bills you have to pay, not just utilities. That’s what they do, and that’s why I’m always holding out my hand for money from my parents by the middle of the month. I’m trying to do better, but it’s going to take a while. My parents are in their fifties and they’re still giving me money. Jeff never had to ask for money from his dad, I’m pretty sure. I’m pretty sure his dad paid for legal fees for Jeff, though. Poor Jeff! God, I just love him! God, I think he’s real special. Better than special. More than special. I think he’s a trillion times better than awesome. More than a trillion, even. God, I really want to tell him how special I think-know he is to me. God, I need to tell him! God, I really need to tell him. God, please. My soul is like, overflowing with words I want to say to him right now. God, I really mean this! God, my soul needs to be with Jeff right this very minute. I know when it’s about to burst out of my body but you hold it back. That’s INSOULMANE, like INHUMANE, get it? It is, God! Look what you’re doing! Every time you do that I get sick inside! I feel you’d be better off sending me to hell! Every time you hold my soul down when it just simply wants to be free, that’s insoulmane and inhumane. It’s like chopping a poor dog up and serving it as the main course at a meal. Yech! Triple Yech! Yech beyond words! Oh God, that’s what it feels like for me every time you hold me down! How on earth can you do that to a poor soul that just wants to belong and be free? God, I’m you’re child, not an animal! Treat me better!