why the f*** am I here?

Damn, I have an interview today and I left my earrings at home. Stupid! I just don't see why I have to be alive. I was reading the obituaries today and the youngest victim was 23. I just want to die too! Why can't I leave? Why can't God look at me and say, "I know how bad you want this, here it is." THAT'S what I call understanding. Not prolonging your life when you're going through some serious bad times. I wish there was another god I could pray to that would hear me and come to my rescue 'cause this God isn't. I'm so turned off! Damn it, God why can't we be best friends? Why can't you hear what I have to say? I don't want to live anymore! You think me waking up everyday is a gift, that I should be thankful for it? f*** you! Never! I just want out! Why do I have to wait until you're ready for me? Why, God? I don't want to do that! Why can't we come to some agreement? Why does it have to be all you, when you're ready for me? I hate this! I really can't believe I forgot my earrings, and I'm going to a darned interview of all things! Duh! I'm really stupid. God, you may have me at your best interest, but LIFE isn't what I need right now! I NEED to be gone, away, forever away, with my baby. JUST AWAY, baby or not! I just want to be happy. Death will bring me happiness! I know where I'm going! I wish I could plead with you to take me and you'd get off your high perch and stoop down to my level, see my pain and be more than thrilled to take me! Why does there have to be a timetable for everything with you? Why was I EVER BORN IN THE FIRST PLACE. I really hate you for ever giving me life! Even though my parents were greedy for a kid I could've been born a STILLBORN! You could've created me a dead baby for them to look at! Good for you, parents! God, I hate you for creating me! That's WORD! You're a BASTARD! I wish I could send YOU to hell for all you've done to me! My tattoos are staying! ALL OF THEM. You never rock. You aren't awesome. You are a jerk. A real dickhead! DEATH RULES. LIFE SUCKS!